There’s No “I” In “Meme”

Hey folks, Dom here.

Due to the unparalleled success of Josh Rivers’s “571-MEME” memes***, we are now officially encouraging all Dear Matt Damon readers to submit their meme ideas for a (we hope) weekly segment in which we advertise our favorite(s).

Our first is from Phil Nelson. It requires a quick bit of backstory; its picture was taken of my bowl of phở only moments after I gave up. It, in one glancing blow, illustrates:

1. My utter lack of skill with chopsticks;
2. Why people absolutely hate to watch me eat;
3. That I have the motor skills of a fingerless infant;
4. That, as Kaylen later pointed out after viewing the noodle genocide that was my lunch (after a well-placed “just, wow. so fucking embarrassing”), the chopstick is a miracle in itself: “I was actually just having a conversation about the mind that would look at the chopstick and see no room for innovation/improvement…”;
5. Oversized spoons are HILARIOUS; and
6. Soup is just like a different kind of spaghetti, so there’s no doubt I’ll spill it everywhere.

Anyways:

So true.

***Quick Josh Rivers story: When Phil and I first met him, he gave us his phone number, which was 571-JOSH. He was mighty proud. So for about the first seven months of our friendship with Josh Rivers, we simply called him “571.” Behind his back. Or not. Not that it mattered; he was calling us “dad” after all, so there were varying degrees of unnerving shame always at play.